I know there is a popular book by the title ‘Who will cry when you die?’ by Robin Sharma. His success as an author is undeniable. His books and related products selling in millions! Since I have not read the book yet and I do not know what it contains. While the title of the book triggers in me numerous thoughts for reflection and introspection, this blog has nothing to do with that book in particular. Will someone cry at your death is something that you will never know! But a deeper question arose in me during the course of some experiences last week – ‘will someone cry when you cry?’
It is a question that led me to a series of thoughts about how we lead our lives. In our busy lives we have limited face-to-face interactions with people. Most of the communication is with and through devices. So whether it is stress, anger, fear, or any strong emotion, the immediate reaction is to use the phone to tweet, message, or post an update! If you are not so mobile yet, you get to the computer and play games or do the same as the above – communicate! Very often most people are preoccupied with their own problems and challenges. Hence when we reach out to them, they don’t have the time or the space (physical or emotional) to lend an ear. Due to the lack of building enough relationships most of us have turned to one-way communication channels to vent our emotions. This has led to a lot more cases of loneliness, depression, and numerous other mental ailments. It is widely stated that many of our workers (especially white collar) and people with whom we spend time could actually be struggling with the new age lifestyle diseases.
What is the root cause of all this? It is because as social animals we are dependent on networks in the world for our existence. When these networks are strong, it gives us the confidence to face challenges, setbacks, problems, etc and get back home. It makes us share our emotions with those closely networked members and who in turn provide us empathetic responses. These empathetic messages, a shoulder to cry on, a chance to discuss challenges, a reassurance that there is someone to fight it out with us and to know that we are not alone helps us get out of these mental imbalances (though minor) quickly. But if these support systems are poor, one tends to decline and fall prey to these illnesses.
The question posed ‘who will cry when you cry?’ actually is asking if you have this network which will stand by you when you face a problem or challenge in life? Will you have people who will be concerned about your concerns? Will there be people who will give up their priorities temporarily and have the time and space to provide you comfort as well as support? Are there people who will go beyond their call of duty to ensure you are fine? Do you have such people? What are you doing to find such people? What are you doing to keep them with you?